Full term, baby! 37 weeks! Though, anybody else think it's weird that after several weeks of comparisons to melons, we seem to have taken a giant leap backwards to leafy vegetable?
My appointment today was every bit as uneventful as I hoped it would be. Blood pressure lower than last week, weight up a respectable amount, urine still clear. Baby Barack is still head down, and is now officially engaged in my pelvis (ie, he's dropped enough that his head is now "locked in." At least, that's how we've been talking about it... turns out that "locked" is probably the wrong word, since we know at least one baby that managed to dis-engage right before labor, which is apparently no fun at all).
I haven't had more than 3 hours of consecutive sleep all week. I keep waking up from a number of factors: (a) needing to pee; (b) intense pain in my hips, legs, and hands; and (c) hot flashes. I had thought that I'd be finished with the hot flashes, at least for the next few decades, when I stopped the fertility treatment, but apparently not. They're no fun at all. When I wake up, I'm usually up for an hour or more, if I'm able to fall asleep again at all, so I am now seriously sleep deprived. I'm working from home today in the hope that I can take a nap this afternoon.
On the topic of work... I've heard from a lot of people about how they were incredibly efficient at work for the last few weeks before their maternity leave. How they were so anxious to leave things in a good place before disappearing from work for several months that they had a huge burst of productivity. They accomplished more during those last few weeks than they normally do in twice the time. Leaping tall buildings in a single bound! That sort of thing. I image it's tied a bit to the nesting instinct -- wanting to get everything arranged for the baby at home isn't that far from wanting to finish everything possible at work so that it can all be safely ignored during maternity leave.
My problem: I've had no such work-related energy boost. In fact, I am now in the position where finishing the project that I desperately wanted to finish before my maternity leave is an impossible goal. And by "impossible" I don't just mean "unlikely that I can finish it in time." I mean "my last day of work is Friday, and there are enough outside dependencies for this project that it cannot be completed in one week, even if I had superhuman endurance and strength." Some of this isn't totally my fault -- some of those outside dependencies were, um, less than dependable lately. And even if I had been 100% focused on this project for the last month, the terrible state of my hands and wrists due to pregnancy carpel tunnel would have prevented me from being very efficient. But if I'm totally honest with myself, I have to admit that a large part of why the project isn't finished is that I've been finding it impossible to focus on work lately. I've been less efficient than I have ever been in my entire professional career. I just cannot seem to focus on anything. It sucks. I go to work each day with the best of intentions, and by the end of the day, I find that I've accomplished very little. Blame my painful wrists. Blame my lack of sleep. Blame the frequent interruptions for doctor visits and delivery guys and baby-related phone calls. Blame my sudden inability to multitask. Whatever it is, it's killing my work life.
So, who are these people who get so much accomplished before their maternity leave, and how do they do it? Because I have three days left to get everything in order at work, spread across both my university and my two outside jobs. My goal has switched from "get everything done" to "get everything in a state where I won't feel TOO guilty about it for the next four months." And maybe that was a more realistic goal all along, but for someone whose main identity has been related to work and study for a long long time now, in a lot of ways, that goal also seems like a harder one.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Reading List
I know that this is probably typical for first-time moms, but I've started frantically reading so many baby-related books these days that I feel a bit like I'm cramming for a test. Or perhaps more accurately, a pop quiz, since I don't know how many days or weeks away the exam is....
For your reading pleasure, a list of what I've been reading, complete with mini-reviews. Note that I skipped even mentioning the books that were really bad. Also, I haven't quite finished reading all of these, but have seen enough to at least give a short summary and opinion.
Pregnancy:
What to Expect When You're Expecting (Murkoff, Eisenberg, Hathaway) -- Everyone buys a copy, so why fight it? I liked it more than most people, it seems. Yes, they go a bit overboard listing everything that could go wrong, but I just skipped those parts. Sticking to the basic month-by-month stuff was useful for me; each month, I read ahead to see what to expect the following month. Worked great.
The Mother of All Pregnancy Books (Douglas) -- More friendly, but also less useful, than What to Expect. I used it as a reference occasionally, but I could probably have skipped it. Nothing wrong with it, just not as much my style.
From First Kicks to First Steps (Greene) -- What a cool book! I loved this one. Rather than just the same old "Your baby now weighs this many ounces" stuff, this one focuses on sensory development. When does your baby start tasting? Distinguishing noises? Seeing lights? Exploring your uterus with his hands? All backed up with fascinating studies. For instance, if you read a picture book out loud to your baby starting in the third trimester, that book will be able to calm your baby after birth better than anything else. Or how singing to your baby in-utero will affect his heart rate. Really neat stuff.
Infant Calming & Sleep:
The Happiest Baby on the Block (Karp) -- Popular classic for a reason. I obviously haven't tried the techniques yet, but many of my friends swear by them. I usually hate self-help-type books (the repetitiveness annoys me no end) but this one was still a very quick read. And made a lot of intuitive sense (though I did have to nit-pick some of his "logical scientific reasoning" which was full of Buick-sized holes). But hey -- if it works, it works.
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer (Hogg & Blau) -- I'm having more problems with this one. The ideas appeal to me in a lot of ways, but it also seems unrealistic to adhere 100% to the plan, and the author constantly makes the point that any variation will lead to disaster. I'm just not enough of a blind follower to buy into that kind of faith. I'll probably give some of these suggestions a try, but I'm skeptical.
General Infant Care:
Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads (Greenberg & Hayden) -- Some friends bought this for S. As far as I can tell, it's aimed at new dads who used to be committed Boy Scouts (S was an Eagle Scout, so he's spot on for this demographic). I skimmed it for the humor (eg, how to change a diaper in a sports stadium; why reggae music is best for calming babies) but S swears it also has useful parts, and kept him entertained enough to finish reading it. I particularly love the list of reasons why babies cry -- besides the obvious hungry, tired, dirty diaper reasons, they also list "general angst."
The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice on First-Year Maintenance (Borgenicht & Borgenicht) -- Complete book of infant care, in the style of a VCR manual. The illustrations are great. Fun book, in particular, for anyone who works in a technical field. And all of the information is spot-on correct.
Caring for Your Baby and Young Child (American Academy of Pediatrics) -- This one was recommended by our pediatrician as the one medical trouble-shooting book to have on hand as a reference. It's huge and dense, so I haven't done anything other than casually flip through it, but it looks useful.
Other:
The New Jewish Baby Book (Diamant) -- I totally love Anita Diamant. Her discussion of options for bris ceremonies was invaluable for me. Her section on Hebrew names was a bit skimpy, but still useful. Overall, just a good read.
The Baby Name Wizard (Wattenberg) -- Without a doubt, the most useful of the baby name books we looked through. Particularly helpful: each and every name has an associated graph of its popularity in the US over the past century or so, and data on its current and peak ranking among names reported to the Social Security Administration. Also includes origins, meanings, nicknames, similarly styled names.... Excellent resource. So much better than just the lists that most books have.
The Nursing Mother's Companion (Huggins) -- Haven't finished reading it yet, but so far it seems like a good, practical book on the ins and outs of breastfeeding, without the heavy-handed propaganda found in many such books. Includes sections on trouble-shooting, and an appendix on how hundreds of drugs are metabolized and cross into breastmilk, so you can make informed decisions on what medications are safe to take and when. Excellent reference.
Baby Bargains (Fields) -- This book was indispensable for me. It's basically like Consumer Reports for baby gear. Ratings on brands and specific items for everything you can think of, based on thousands of submitted reader reviews. Unbelievably helpful as we decided what to buy.
For your reading pleasure, a list of what I've been reading, complete with mini-reviews. Note that I skipped even mentioning the books that were really bad. Also, I haven't quite finished reading all of these, but have seen enough to at least give a short summary and opinion.
Pregnancy:
What to Expect When You're Expecting (Murkoff, Eisenberg, Hathaway) -- Everyone buys a copy, so why fight it? I liked it more than most people, it seems. Yes, they go a bit overboard listing everything that could go wrong, but I just skipped those parts. Sticking to the basic month-by-month stuff was useful for me; each month, I read ahead to see what to expect the following month. Worked great.
The Mother of All Pregnancy Books (Douglas) -- More friendly, but also less useful, than What to Expect. I used it as a reference occasionally, but I could probably have skipped it. Nothing wrong with it, just not as much my style.
From First Kicks to First Steps (Greene) -- What a cool book! I loved this one. Rather than just the same old "Your baby now weighs this many ounces" stuff, this one focuses on sensory development. When does your baby start tasting? Distinguishing noises? Seeing lights? Exploring your uterus with his hands? All backed up with fascinating studies. For instance, if you read a picture book out loud to your baby starting in the third trimester, that book will be able to calm your baby after birth better than anything else. Or how singing to your baby in-utero will affect his heart rate. Really neat stuff.
Infant Calming & Sleep:
The Happiest Baby on the Block (Karp) -- Popular classic for a reason. I obviously haven't tried the techniques yet, but many of my friends swear by them. I usually hate self-help-type books (the repetitiveness annoys me no end) but this one was still a very quick read. And made a lot of intuitive sense (though I did have to nit-pick some of his "logical scientific reasoning" which was full of Buick-sized holes). But hey -- if it works, it works.
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer (Hogg & Blau) -- I'm having more problems with this one. The ideas appeal to me in a lot of ways, but it also seems unrealistic to adhere 100% to the plan, and the author constantly makes the point that any variation will lead to disaster. I'm just not enough of a blind follower to buy into that kind of faith. I'll probably give some of these suggestions a try, but I'm skeptical.
General Infant Care:
Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads (Greenberg & Hayden) -- Some friends bought this for S. As far as I can tell, it's aimed at new dads who used to be committed Boy Scouts (S was an Eagle Scout, so he's spot on for this demographic). I skimmed it for the humor (eg, how to change a diaper in a sports stadium; why reggae music is best for calming babies) but S swears it also has useful parts, and kept him entertained enough to finish reading it. I particularly love the list of reasons why babies cry -- besides the obvious hungry, tired, dirty diaper reasons, they also list "general angst."
The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice on First-Year Maintenance (Borgenicht & Borgenicht) -- Complete book of infant care, in the style of a VCR manual. The illustrations are great. Fun book, in particular, for anyone who works in a technical field. And all of the information is spot-on correct.
Caring for Your Baby and Young Child (American Academy of Pediatrics) -- This one was recommended by our pediatrician as the one medical trouble-shooting book to have on hand as a reference. It's huge and dense, so I haven't done anything other than casually flip through it, but it looks useful.
Other:
The New Jewish Baby Book (Diamant) -- I totally love Anita Diamant. Her discussion of options for bris ceremonies was invaluable for me. Her section on Hebrew names was a bit skimpy, but still useful. Overall, just a good read.
The Baby Name Wizard (Wattenberg) -- Without a doubt, the most useful of the baby name books we looked through. Particularly helpful: each and every name has an associated graph of its popularity in the US over the past century or so, and data on its current and peak ranking among names reported to the Social Security Administration. Also includes origins, meanings, nicknames, similarly styled names.... Excellent resource. So much better than just the lists that most books have.
The Nursing Mother's Companion (Huggins) -- Haven't finished reading it yet, but so far it seems like a good, practical book on the ins and outs of breastfeeding, without the heavy-handed propaganda found in many such books. Includes sections on trouble-shooting, and an appendix on how hundreds of drugs are metabolized and cross into breastmilk, so you can make informed decisions on what medications are safe to take and when. Excellent reference.
Baby Bargains (Fields) -- This book was indispensable for me. It's basically like Consumer Reports for baby gear. Ratings on brands and specific items for everything you can think of, based on thousands of submitted reader reviews. Unbelievably helpful as we decided what to buy.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Crenshaw Melon
Today is 36 weeks, which means that we are under the 1-month-to-go mark, theoretically approaching that "could be any day now" point. At my appointment today (which I now will have every week until Barack makes his appearance) everything looked good. Blood pressure is holding steady, baby heartbeat is strong and solid. In the past two weeks, I gained just half a pound, bringing my total 36-week weight gain to 22 pounds. I'm really happy with that total, since that puts me right on target to stay around the 25 lb mark I was hoping for. But 1/2 lb in two weeks this late in the game? How did that happen?
Today's appointment also included my first cervical check -- not my favorite way to pass the time. Dr. M poked at Barack's head a bit, which was really uncomfortable, but I feel weird complaining about it, because if that hurt, I'm in for a world of trouble in actual labor. Anyway, Barack is head-down, but his head is not yet "engaged" in my pelvis, but rather is still freely bopping up and down in there. (Explains the thumping that my bladder takes when I walk around.) I'm also not at all dilated, so we may be here for the long haul.
We asked Dr. M several going-into-labor questions, all of which he dismissed rather easily. For the first time ever, he also seemed almost annoyed that we were asking such silly questions. He came around, though, when we had this exchange:
Me: I did have several contractions after finding out that the Packers had traded Brett Favre....
Dr. M: I don't think it's anything to worry about, because the Aaron Rodgers [the Packers new QB] looked pretty good in last night's preseason game.
Me: True. I'm nervous, though, because their first regular season game is the day before my due date.
Dr. M: Again, it's really nothing to worry about. The hospital maternity wing has giant flat screen TVs in the rooms. ESPN is on channel 30. But at least now you're asking important questions!
My kind of doctor.
Today's appointment also included my first cervical check -- not my favorite way to pass the time. Dr. M poked at Barack's head a bit, which was really uncomfortable, but I feel weird complaining about it, because if that hurt, I'm in for a world of trouble in actual labor. Anyway, Barack is head-down, but his head is not yet "engaged" in my pelvis, but rather is still freely bopping up and down in there. (Explains the thumping that my bladder takes when I walk around.) I'm also not at all dilated, so we may be here for the long haul.
We asked Dr. M several going-into-labor questions, all of which he dismissed rather easily. For the first time ever, he also seemed almost annoyed that we were asking such silly questions. He came around, though, when we had this exchange:
Me: I did have several contractions after finding out that the Packers had traded Brett Favre....
Dr. M: I don't think it's anything to worry about, because the Aaron Rodgers [the Packers new QB] looked pretty good in last night's preseason game.
Me: True. I'm nervous, though, because their first regular season game is the day before my due date.
Dr. M: Again, it's really nothing to worry about. The hospital maternity wing has giant flat screen TVs in the rooms. ESPN is on channel 30. But at least now you're asking important questions!
My kind of doctor.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Dangerous News
Know how to almost send an 8-months-pregnant Wisconsin gal into early labor? Announce that Brett Favre has been traded to the New York Jets. I seriously did have several contractions in a row upon hearing the news. (But no, nothing serious.)
I'll admit that I'm glad, if he was going to be traded, that at least he'll be playing for an AFC team that the Packers will likely never have to face. Which means that I can cheer both for the Packers as a team, and individually for Favre, without there being any conflict of interest. And, after weeks of uncertainty, I'm happy that at least the situation is resolved.
But still, it hurts. A lot.
On a related note: the first game of the season is the Packers vs. the Vikings in Green Bay on September 8, with the game being aired on ESPN. Those of you who are really paying attention will note that this is only one day before my September 9 due date. I'm excited to see the game, but well aware that I might be, um, otherwise occupied that evening. My parents helpfully volunteered that, even if I'm in labor, I could still watch the game, which would be an excellent distraction from the pain, as long as the hospital gets ESPN. So, when we took our hospital tour, S helpfully piped up and asked the nurse giving the tour whether the rooms got ESPN. And, as would be predicted when a husband asks such a question, all 30 people on the tour immediately made fun of him. S protested that he was asking for ME, not for himself, which is very much true (he was never much of a sports fan; I taught him everything he knows about football, and he only cheers for the Packers to avoid marital discord). But really, who's gonna believe that the red-blooded American husband is asking about ESPN not for himself, but for his pregnant wife? Nobody believed him. And I was too entertained by the entire situation to speak up on his behalf.
PS -- yes, the hospital does get ESPN. So as long as the site of Brett Favre in a Jets uniform doesn't seriously send me into an early labor in the next few weeks, we're covered.
I'll admit that I'm glad, if he was going to be traded, that at least he'll be playing for an AFC team that the Packers will likely never have to face. Which means that I can cheer both for the Packers as a team, and individually for Favre, without there being any conflict of interest. And, after weeks of uncertainty, I'm happy that at least the situation is resolved.
But still, it hurts. A lot.
On a related note: the first game of the season is the Packers vs. the Vikings in Green Bay on September 8, with the game being aired on ESPN. Those of you who are really paying attention will note that this is only one day before my September 9 due date. I'm excited to see the game, but well aware that I might be, um, otherwise occupied that evening. My parents helpfully volunteered that, even if I'm in labor, I could still watch the game, which would be an excellent distraction from the pain, as long as the hospital gets ESPN. So, when we took our hospital tour, S helpfully piped up and asked the nurse giving the tour whether the rooms got ESPN. And, as would be predicted when a husband asks such a question, all 30 people on the tour immediately made fun of him. S protested that he was asking for ME, not for himself, which is very much true (he was never much of a sports fan; I taught him everything he knows about football, and he only cheers for the Packers to avoid marital discord). But really, who's gonna believe that the red-blooded American husband is asking about ESPN not for himself, but for his pregnant wife? Nobody believed him. And I was too entertained by the entire situation to speak up on his behalf.
PS -- yes, the hospital does get ESPN. So as long as the site of Brett Favre in a Jets uniform doesn't seriously send me into an early labor in the next few weeks, we're covered.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Honeydew Melon
Today marks 35 weeks. Five weeks to go, give or take the 2-3 week error bars. I can't believe I'm actually far enough along now that those error bars are starting to effect my perception of things. Weird.
In a completely practical sense, we're ready. As in, if the baby were born today, we'd be okay. We have just about everything that we want to have on hand for the first couple of weeks, barring a few things that I've ordered online that are currently on their way to us. The only big thing missing is the crib, and we have a workable substitute for that now, so as pissed as I am about the situation, it's nothing we can't work around. We have a mohel, we've discussed the bris ceremony with the rabbi, we've discussed travel plans with the family, we've finished our baby prep classes. We're good to go.
Understand, however, that I'm not actually saying that we're totally ready in all senses of the word. Leaving aside the "Oh my G-d we're about to become parents!" emotional readiness that I don't think anyone has before the big day, there's still a ton of stuff that I want to get done before baby Barack makes his appearance. I have a big project at work that I'm frantically trying to get done before my maternity leave. We haven't packed our bag for the hospital. We haven't installed the car seat in the car. I have a sewing project that I'd like to finish before I go into labor. We haven't quite agreed on a name. (We have a front runner, which we'd probably just go with if forced to make a decision today, but we'd like to keep looking around some more.) I've done several loads of baby laundry, but there's still a few more loads of wash and sterilizing that I'd like to do in advance. I haven't quite finished the paperwork for my state-sponsored maternity leave benefits. There's still some nursery decorating that I'd like to finish. I'd like to have a nursing bra or two on hand right away, but I'm having a hell of a time finding any that fit. Oh, and the house looks like a tornado disaster area -- I'd like to get it presentable before it gets hit by Hurricane Barack. Nonetheless, these are all things that could be thrown together if need be, or done after the birth, so overall, not too bad.
That's the status. Physically, my hands and wrists are killing me (worst carpel tunnel I've ever had) which is making it difficult to finish that project at work. My feet are swollen beyond recognition. I'm peeing constantly, and often finding it hard to breathe. Overall, though, this all seems pretty mild compared to how bad other women I know have had it during the final month or so. And I'm actually sleeping better than I had been, which is helping.
My advice for comfortable sleep during the third trimester: pillows and a husband to support your belly and back. I am always warm these days, thanks to the built-in radiator that is my unborn child. Despite the heat we've been having lately, I still pile pillows in front of me and under me, to support my stomach as I lay on my side. This tends to heat me even more, though, causing S to retreat far onto his side of the bed, complaining that I am so unbelievably warm that he would burn himself if he touched me. This left me with nothing to support my back (pillows were of limited help there). Now, I super-cool our bedroom every night to near-frozen temperatures. I still feel pleasantly warm, but the frigid air freezes poor S. When we get into bed, he naturally snuggles towards any heat source, which means that he stays put firmly against my back, providing awesome back support for me all night long. Breathing the cold air is giving him a bit of a sore throat, but the decent night's sleep puts me in such better spirits that we've decided it's worth the trade-off. Way to go, S -- taking one for the team! (Not that cuddling with his wife is such a big sacrifice....)
In a completely practical sense, we're ready. As in, if the baby were born today, we'd be okay. We have just about everything that we want to have on hand for the first couple of weeks, barring a few things that I've ordered online that are currently on their way to us. The only big thing missing is the crib, and we have a workable substitute for that now, so as pissed as I am about the situation, it's nothing we can't work around. We have a mohel, we've discussed the bris ceremony with the rabbi, we've discussed travel plans with the family, we've finished our baby prep classes. We're good to go.
Understand, however, that I'm not actually saying that we're totally ready in all senses of the word. Leaving aside the "Oh my G-d we're about to become parents!" emotional readiness that I don't think anyone has before the big day, there's still a ton of stuff that I want to get done before baby Barack makes his appearance. I have a big project at work that I'm frantically trying to get done before my maternity leave. We haven't packed our bag for the hospital. We haven't installed the car seat in the car. I have a sewing project that I'd like to finish before I go into labor. We haven't quite agreed on a name. (We have a front runner, which we'd probably just go with if forced to make a decision today, but we'd like to keep looking around some more.) I've done several loads of baby laundry, but there's still a few more loads of wash and sterilizing that I'd like to do in advance. I haven't quite finished the paperwork for my state-sponsored maternity leave benefits. There's still some nursery decorating that I'd like to finish. I'd like to have a nursing bra or two on hand right away, but I'm having a hell of a time finding any that fit. Oh, and the house looks like a tornado disaster area -- I'd like to get it presentable before it gets hit by Hurricane Barack. Nonetheless, these are all things that could be thrown together if need be, or done after the birth, so overall, not too bad.
That's the status. Physically, my hands and wrists are killing me (worst carpel tunnel I've ever had) which is making it difficult to finish that project at work. My feet are swollen beyond recognition. I'm peeing constantly, and often finding it hard to breathe. Overall, though, this all seems pretty mild compared to how bad other women I know have had it during the final month or so. And I'm actually sleeping better than I had been, which is helping.
My advice for comfortable sleep during the third trimester: pillows and a husband to support your belly and back. I am always warm these days, thanks to the built-in radiator that is my unborn child. Despite the heat we've been having lately, I still pile pillows in front of me and under me, to support my stomach as I lay on my side. This tends to heat me even more, though, causing S to retreat far onto his side of the bed, complaining that I am so unbelievably warm that he would burn himself if he touched me. This left me with nothing to support my back (pillows were of limited help there). Now, I super-cool our bedroom every night to near-frozen temperatures. I still feel pleasantly warm, but the frigid air freezes poor S. When we get into bed, he naturally snuggles towards any heat source, which means that he stays put firmly against my back, providing awesome back support for me all night long. Breathing the cold air is giving him a bit of a sore throat, but the decent night's sleep puts me in such better spirits that we've decided it's worth the trade-off. Way to go, S -- taking one for the team! (Not that cuddling with his wife is such a big sacrifice....)
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Cantaloupe
Today marks 34 weeks. Only 6 weeks to go (or less, if you believe yesterday's ultrasound measurements). I'm really starting to think that I'm going to go into labor a bit before my due date, like a week or so. Or maybe this is just wishful thinking, since I'm reaching the "uncomfortable" phase of late pregnancy. This is also my 100th post, in ~10 months. From initial infertility workup to 34 weeks of pregnancy in 100 easy installments.
Thanks for the pack n play suggestions. I'm torn about it, because I wasn't planning to own a pack n play. Their main purpose, from what I could tell, was for baby to sleep in while at Grandma's house. Since my parents and S's parents live in different states, they each bought their own pack n play to keep there, so we wouldn't have to lug one with us whenever we fly to visit. So, I didn't think that we needed to buy one for ourselves. Several friends heard this and told me I was nuts, insisting that I would use it around the house and to bring other places. I'm still not convinced, but the pack n plays with built-in bassinets are cheaper than standalone bassinets, and more compact for storage, so I guess that's probably what we'll do. I'm still viscerally upset that the most obvious big thing for any nursery, the crib, is the one thing that won't be there when Barack is born, but I know that I'm just having an emotional reaction to it, and it actually won't matter; the pack n play will be fine. Right?
Part of why I'm upset is that I spent a fair amount of time researching safe sleeping quarters for newborns. Firm mattress, high-quality snug-fitting sheets, that sort of thing. So, now we have a great safe mattress and several recommended sheets (the one place where I feel like I splurged a bit, to get all cotton, all-around elastic, higher-than-normal thread count, etc.) but I'm not going to be using them for several months. Instead, for the first 2 months (or more!) I'm supposed to be okay with having the baby sleep on a flimsy piece of foam that comes with the pack n play. And the sheets I've seen that fit the pack n play "mattress" are loose-fitting cotton-polyester blends that are rough and practically see-through. Is that really the safest sleeping quarters for a newborn? Even the pack n play manufacturers warn that they're not meant to be permanent sleeping quarters for babies. And if it really IS safe... it means that I wasted a whole lot of energy making the crib safe, because apparently it doesn't matter. Either way, I get upset. Blech.
On to happier topics. My cousin J (the only relative who lives within a 500+ mile radius of me) threw me a baby shower on Saturday. I had waffled for months about whether to even have a shower (in traditional Judaism, you don't have baby showers) and finally decided to go ahead with it only a few weeks ago. In the week leading up to the shower, I was starting to have doubts again. Part of it was a tempting-fate hesitancy, and part was because it seemed a little sad to be having a shower without any family there other than J. But, most of my local friends came, J did a gorgeous job decorating, had a ton of great food (including several desserts made by a friend with pastry chef training), and the weather was fantastic, so we got to hold the entire thing outside in J's park-like back yard.
The best part was the surprise that J had for me at the beginning of the shower. Several friends had arrived, and we were sitting and talking, when I saw one of my friends look at something behind me and scream. I turned around to find my mom walking towards me. She and J had secretly arranged for her to fly here for the weekend (more than 2,000 miles).
Something to know about my family: we love pulling big surprises on each other. My brother and I, on numerous occasions, have planned surprise parties for my parents. Since we all live in different states, these involve secretly making long-distance travel plans and then showing up at my parents' house when they haven't seen us for months. I also helped my sister-in-law surprise my brother several years ago with a birthday trip to Las Vegas -- he found out about the trip 2 hours before their flight, and only found out that S and I were in on it when I jumped on his back in the lobby of the MGM Grand while they were checking in. Fun stuff.
But no one in the family had ever pulled a surprise on me, until now. And I really didn't see it coming. A few weeks ago, my mom had casually asked whether I wanted her to come to town for my shower, and I told her that was silly. It was just a small party, I'd see her a few weeks later once the baby was born, and she should save her money for that trip. But, she decided that she really didn't want to miss it, and thought it would be fun to have some mother-daughter bonding time before Barack makes his arrival and she'd have to "share" me with my dad, my in-laws, etc.
So, I had a wonderful weekend with my mom. We hung out at home after the shower, so I could show her everything we've done for the baby so far. On Sunday we went shopping, buying tons of baby clothes as well as a bathrobe for me to wear at the hospital. Her flight home Monday morning was soon after our doctor's appointment, so she came with us and was just going to wait in the waiting room until we were done. But when we found out that we were going to have an ultrasound, S went and got her and brought her to the room so that she could see it, too. She's never seen a fetal ultrasound before (didn't have them when she was pregnant with me and my brother, and lives too far away from my brother and sister-in-law to ever be included in any of theirs) and she was just blown away. It was fantastic.
Of course, once my dad found out that she got to see the ultrasound, he started regretting not having come on the trip with my mom, and we're all a little worried that my mother-in-law will be jealous when she finds out, since we don't think that she even knew I was having a shower. But we'll leave the potential family drama alone. For now, all is happy.
Thanks for the pack n play suggestions. I'm torn about it, because I wasn't planning to own a pack n play. Their main purpose, from what I could tell, was for baby to sleep in while at Grandma's house. Since my parents and S's parents live in different states, they each bought their own pack n play to keep there, so we wouldn't have to lug one with us whenever we fly to visit. So, I didn't think that we needed to buy one for ourselves. Several friends heard this and told me I was nuts, insisting that I would use it around the house and to bring other places. I'm still not convinced, but the pack n plays with built-in bassinets are cheaper than standalone bassinets, and more compact for storage, so I guess that's probably what we'll do. I'm still viscerally upset that the most obvious big thing for any nursery, the crib, is the one thing that won't be there when Barack is born, but I know that I'm just having an emotional reaction to it, and it actually won't matter; the pack n play will be fine. Right?
Part of why I'm upset is that I spent a fair amount of time researching safe sleeping quarters for newborns. Firm mattress, high-quality snug-fitting sheets, that sort of thing. So, now we have a great safe mattress and several recommended sheets (the one place where I feel like I splurged a bit, to get all cotton, all-around elastic, higher-than-normal thread count, etc.) but I'm not going to be using them for several months. Instead, for the first 2 months (or more!) I'm supposed to be okay with having the baby sleep on a flimsy piece of foam that comes with the pack n play. And the sheets I've seen that fit the pack n play "mattress" are loose-fitting cotton-polyester blends that are rough and practically see-through. Is that really the safest sleeping quarters for a newborn? Even the pack n play manufacturers warn that they're not meant to be permanent sleeping quarters for babies. And if it really IS safe... it means that I wasted a whole lot of energy making the crib safe, because apparently it doesn't matter. Either way, I get upset. Blech.
On to happier topics. My cousin J (the only relative who lives within a 500+ mile radius of me) threw me a baby shower on Saturday. I had waffled for months about whether to even have a shower (in traditional Judaism, you don't have baby showers) and finally decided to go ahead with it only a few weeks ago. In the week leading up to the shower, I was starting to have doubts again. Part of it was a tempting-fate hesitancy, and part was because it seemed a little sad to be having a shower without any family there other than J. But, most of my local friends came, J did a gorgeous job decorating, had a ton of great food (including several desserts made by a friend with pastry chef training), and the weather was fantastic, so we got to hold the entire thing outside in J's park-like back yard.
The best part was the surprise that J had for me at the beginning of the shower. Several friends had arrived, and we were sitting and talking, when I saw one of my friends look at something behind me and scream. I turned around to find my mom walking towards me. She and J had secretly arranged for her to fly here for the weekend (more than 2,000 miles).
Something to know about my family: we love pulling big surprises on each other. My brother and I, on numerous occasions, have planned surprise parties for my parents. Since we all live in different states, these involve secretly making long-distance travel plans and then showing up at my parents' house when they haven't seen us for months. I also helped my sister-in-law surprise my brother several years ago with a birthday trip to Las Vegas -- he found out about the trip 2 hours before their flight, and only found out that S and I were in on it when I jumped on his back in the lobby of the MGM Grand while they were checking in. Fun stuff.
But no one in the family had ever pulled a surprise on me, until now. And I really didn't see it coming. A few weeks ago, my mom had casually asked whether I wanted her to come to town for my shower, and I told her that was silly. It was just a small party, I'd see her a few weeks later once the baby was born, and she should save her money for that trip. But, she decided that she really didn't want to miss it, and thought it would be fun to have some mother-daughter bonding time before Barack makes his arrival and she'd have to "share" me with my dad, my in-laws, etc.
So, I had a wonderful weekend with my mom. We hung out at home after the shower, so I could show her everything we've done for the baby so far. On Sunday we went shopping, buying tons of baby clothes as well as a bathrobe for me to wear at the hospital. Her flight home Monday morning was soon after our doctor's appointment, so she came with us and was just going to wait in the waiting room until we were done. But when we found out that we were going to have an ultrasound, S went and got her and brought her to the room so that she could see it, too. She's never seen a fetal ultrasound before (didn't have them when she was pregnant with me and my brother, and lives too far away from my brother and sister-in-law to ever be included in any of theirs) and she was just blown away. It was fantastic.
Of course, once my dad found out that she got to see the ultrasound, he started regretting not having come on the trip with my mom, and we're all a little worried that my mother-in-law will be jealous when she finds out, since we don't think that she even knew I was having a shower. But we'll leave the potential family drama alone. For now, all is happy.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Good News, Frustrating News, Repeat
We had our 34 week appointment this morning. I now have updates on several things that I was panicking about after my last appointment 2 weeks ago. Watch as I emotionally swing from good news to bad news and back again!
1. Good news: Barack is no longer breech. Woo hoo! After watching a video on c-sections at our last birthing class, I was even more anxious for him to get into position. Dr. M did an ultrasound and voila! Barack is head down, as requested. The ultrasound was also exciting because we haven't had a peak at Barack since week 19, more than 3 months ago, which seems like forever, and at that ultrasound, I wasn't allowed to see anything (because we had the worst ultrasound tech ever). This time, it was Dr. M running the machine. After he verified the position and finished his measurements, he let us "look around" a bit. He also showed me the proof that we're having a boy. As for the measurements: at the last ultrasound, Barack was measuring 6 days ahead of schedule. Today, he's measuring 10 days ahead, with a current estimated weight of 6 pounds. Those day estimates have error bars of +/- 3 weeks, and the weight estimates are +/- 1 pound, but still... he might be an awfully big baby, and I'm getting the sense that he might arrive a tad early.
2. Frustrating news: Two weeks ago, I was feeling physically great. Now... not so much. I'm absolutely exhausted. I wake up several times each night broiling hot and drenched in sweat, with the joints in my legs and hands painfully cramped. I have to get up and walk around the house a bit to cool off and stretch my legs and drink some water before going back to bed. Each morning, it takes 1-2 hours for me to be able to unclench my fingers enough to be able to type. Each evening, I'm completely sidelined by heartburn, to the point that my throat burns. My ankles and feet swell progressively throughout the day until I have gross sausage toes by evening. My hips hurt when I walk. And each afternoon, I've been getting headaches. Again. (Was that enough complaining for you?) With all of these (rather sudden) symptoms, I was worried that today's appointment was going to show elevated blood pressure, but I was only partially right. After months of being ridiculously low, my blood pressure was, indeed, up from two weeks ago, but only enough to bring it back into the "normal" range. Dr. M says it's still nothing to worry about. All the symptoms are just normal end-of-pregnancy stuff, and possibly a sign that I'm over-doing my sodium intake. I'm under orders to try to avoid salt, and to gulp water whenever possible.
3. If our baby were to be born as early as S was born, I'd be in labor today. The good news: I'm not my mother-in-law! I'll take good news wherever I can find it.
4. Back to frustrating news: We still don't have a crib. As I mentioned, the store we ordered from is going out of business. I talked to them 1.5 weeks ago, and they told me that the crib was due in to arrive in mid-August, which would be fine, because they were staying open until the end of August. On Saturday, they called us with an update. The manufacturer was now expecting it to arrive here in mid-September, which is after the store will be gone (and, more important for us, after my due date). The store refunded us our deposit, and helped us to transfer the order to a different store in the area, so that at least we wouldn't have to start the order process entirely from the beginning. Today, however, the new store called to tell me that they checked with the manufacturer themselves, and the new arrival estimate is end of October. Yep, that's more than five months after we placed the order, and nearly two months after my due date. This is causing me not a little stress. Despite my wanting to avoid it, I'm off to investigate inexpensive in-stock bassinets. Any suggestions?
So, the good news is all really truly good news. I'm in good health, Barack is in good health, and he's finally facing the exit like he's supposed to. Also, I had a truly wonderful baby shower on Saturday (a topic for a later post, because this one is already too long). But I'm exhausted and hormonal, way overly emotional, and this crib saga is pushing me irrationally over the edge a bit.
1. Good news: Barack is no longer breech. Woo hoo! After watching a video on c-sections at our last birthing class, I was even more anxious for him to get into position. Dr. M did an ultrasound and voila! Barack is head down, as requested. The ultrasound was also exciting because we haven't had a peak at Barack since week 19, more than 3 months ago, which seems like forever, and at that ultrasound, I wasn't allowed to see anything (because we had the worst ultrasound tech ever). This time, it was Dr. M running the machine. After he verified the position and finished his measurements, he let us "look around" a bit. He also showed me the proof that we're having a boy. As for the measurements: at the last ultrasound, Barack was measuring 6 days ahead of schedule. Today, he's measuring 10 days ahead, with a current estimated weight of 6 pounds. Those day estimates have error bars of +/- 3 weeks, and the weight estimates are +/- 1 pound, but still... he might be an awfully big baby, and I'm getting the sense that he might arrive a tad early.
2. Frustrating news: Two weeks ago, I was feeling physically great. Now... not so much. I'm absolutely exhausted. I wake up several times each night broiling hot and drenched in sweat, with the joints in my legs and hands painfully cramped. I have to get up and walk around the house a bit to cool off and stretch my legs and drink some water before going back to bed. Each morning, it takes 1-2 hours for me to be able to unclench my fingers enough to be able to type. Each evening, I'm completely sidelined by heartburn, to the point that my throat burns. My ankles and feet swell progressively throughout the day until I have gross sausage toes by evening. My hips hurt when I walk. And each afternoon, I've been getting headaches. Again. (Was that enough complaining for you?) With all of these (rather sudden) symptoms, I was worried that today's appointment was going to show elevated blood pressure, but I was only partially right. After months of being ridiculously low, my blood pressure was, indeed, up from two weeks ago, but only enough to bring it back into the "normal" range. Dr. M says it's still nothing to worry about. All the symptoms are just normal end-of-pregnancy stuff, and possibly a sign that I'm over-doing my sodium intake. I'm under orders to try to avoid salt, and to gulp water whenever possible.
3. If our baby were to be born as early as S was born, I'd be in labor today. The good news: I'm not my mother-in-law! I'll take good news wherever I can find it.
4. Back to frustrating news: We still don't have a crib. As I mentioned, the store we ordered from is going out of business. I talked to them 1.5 weeks ago, and they told me that the crib was due in to arrive in mid-August, which would be fine, because they were staying open until the end of August. On Saturday, they called us with an update. The manufacturer was now expecting it to arrive here in mid-September, which is after the store will be gone (and, more important for us, after my due date). The store refunded us our deposit, and helped us to transfer the order to a different store in the area, so that at least we wouldn't have to start the order process entirely from the beginning. Today, however, the new store called to tell me that they checked with the manufacturer themselves, and the new arrival estimate is end of October. Yep, that's more than five months after we placed the order, and nearly two months after my due date. This is causing me not a little stress. Despite my wanting to avoid it, I'm off to investigate inexpensive in-stock bassinets. Any suggestions?
So, the good news is all really truly good news. I'm in good health, Barack is in good health, and he's finally facing the exit like he's supposed to. Also, I had a truly wonderful baby shower on Saturday (a topic for a later post, because this one is already too long). But I'm exhausted and hormonal, way overly emotional, and this crib saga is pushing me irrationally over the edge a bit.
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