tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4394740867252866786.post7675574138992300251..comments2023-07-21T04:56:50.694-07:00Comments on Grad Ovaries: Midlife CrisisNickyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15614845410446113639noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4394740867252866786.post-12508200200743971762009-11-03T21:42:52.980-08:002009-11-03T21:42:52.980-08:00I just thought I'd mention that ScienceWoman (...I just thought I'd mention that <a href="http://scienceblogs.com/sciencewomen/" rel="nofollow">ScienceWoman</a> (now SciWo) interviewed for jobs while pregnant and/or breastfeeding, and landed a dream tenure-track position. So it can be done!<br /><br />Another thing, and I don't know what exact subfield you study, but have you considered doing your postdoc (or maybe even your whole career!) at a national laboratory? It's not connected to teaching at all, so if your baby comes in the middle of a semester, well... there's no semesters. A lot of women find the national laboratories to be more family friendly than universities. And you could still go for a tenure-track position at the end of your postdoc.Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06927630155994067676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4394740867252866786.post-82052404749618954972009-11-03T10:52:24.732-08:002009-11-03T10:52:24.732-08:00I have little to say other than I hear you. Tryin...I have little to say other than I hear you. Trying to figure out a career plan while family-building, both in the midst of a recession is seriously stressful. And we don't have your added stress re relocation, since I doubt we'll ever leave Boston. As everyone else has said, figuring out your number one priority is so key -- congrats on doing that. Everything may not fall into place easily or exactly how you'd like it, but life will march on, and you will adapt to whatever road it marches down. Good luck.K @ ourboxofrainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05633428907297371867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4394740867252866786.post-90146631041434592452009-11-03T00:47:04.749-08:002009-11-03T00:47:04.749-08:00good advice from everyone! you know you want anot...good advice from everyone! you know you want another kid - the rest will take care of itself. <br /><br />for what it's worth, my parents have a friend who got a medical fellowship after she interviewed 8 months pregnant. <br /><br />decide what you want first, figure out how to make it happen next, and think about contingencies more deeply after you've got an idea of what contingencies are more likely.<br /><br />GOOD LUCK!PhizzleDizzlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02036442165798690074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4394740867252866786.post-56976797663873880832009-11-02T18:23:17.652-08:002009-11-02T18:23:17.652-08:00I had a similar freak-out when I was graduating fr...I had a similar freak-out when I was graduating from my graduate program and beginning to TTC. I was talking to my supervisor/mentor, talking a mile-a-minute while going through all these "what if" scenarios. She looked at me straight in the eye and said, "If any of that happens, you'll just deal with it."<br /><br />She was exactly right. Because even though things turned out in a scenario that was not even ON my radar at that point, it was still a challenge... and I just dealt with it.<br /><br />You can handle it, however things turn out, I promise. In the worse case, you still have a husband you love and two children you adore. Life will follow.Sunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10964875388384777306noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4394740867252866786.post-27253060727049186982009-11-02T16:43:35.596-08:002009-11-02T16:43:35.596-08:00I don't know what you can do about worrying, I...I don't know what you can do about worrying, I know how hard it is to stop myself from doing just that. I am glad you and S have figured out your current priority, and first of all, good luck with that. Then hopefully the rest will fall into place.ScienceGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00071055167798044468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4394740867252866786.post-74595679469456219372009-11-02T14:00:32.220-08:002009-11-02T14:00:32.220-08:00At least you both have agreed that having a child ...At least you both have agreed that having a child is the most important part. And I'm a believer that generally things have a way of working themselves out. Good luck!!!Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00985331491572039777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4394740867252866786.post-80901646799838932492009-11-02T13:32:07.119-08:002009-11-02T13:32:07.119-08:00Wow that is alot to worry about. My first piece of...Wow that is <i>alot</i> to worry about. My first piece of advice you've already done. Figured out was most important (second child) and based everything else around that. You seem to be worrying about alot of what ifs that you have no control over. I would love to be able to tell you not to worry about stuff you can't control, but I know from personal experience how hard that is. So as an outsider this is how I see things:<br />Raising 2 small kids with no family around is doable. Not ideal but totally doable, alot of people do it my own parents included in that. Plus it would not be a permanent situation. It would change as soon you found a job. Which you will. It may not be right away, but you will. <br />So you've decided to try for the second child. AWESOME! The next decision would be where do you want to live? Closer to your family or S's family? Based on that decision, you know what area to start applying for jobs. You have some amazing support systems from your Summer employer to your mentor. Use them for references, contacts etc. You can do this! I totally know you can. Your fear and your worry is totally normal. Focus on what is in your control and what you can do, everything will be dealt with as it come. <br /><br />I hope that wasn't too preachy.ScientistMotherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02540317551396323613noreply@blogger.com